Bloomingness!

Just like a flower, I have always known that there will always be a time where I shine. Like anyone else, I have always had my ups and downs as a student. There were some point where I almost gave up on my studies, because of the pressure that I was feeling. Many of the people who started at the same time we did, dropped out, changed majors, etc. they quit. I have always had that sixth sense that would always tell me to never quit, and I am grateful for it. I’m not a quitter. I’d rather fail a class three times and eventually pass it than quit and resign myself to the idea that I “just can’t get it.” If you see failure as an end, that makes you a quitter. You can’t succeed at anything if you quit. Don’t be a quitter, be a failure who is always willing to try it once again

Behind every success story is an embarrassing first effort, a stumble, a setback or a radical change of direction. It’s these first clumsy steps on the road to fame and fortune. 

When you see someone who’s very successful, you almost imagine that it was a foregone conclusion, that they’re a genius, that they were destined for great things.

Where I am right now, is not where I am destined to be, but I am definitely sure, it is a right path for me to where I should be. Like a flower, there are times when I bloom so hard, that I shine and be happy for what I am doing. There is so much to life for me. I just discovered that I am writer, well, a very good one in this regard. And I am definitely enjoying expressing my feelings through writing. I also enjoy being a presenter or rather a reporter in any broadcasting sphere. I am blooming Hun! I have finally released my potential and I see a lot great stuff ahead of me.

One of the things that made me feel this good about my career path, is probably moving outside my comfort zone. I’m a very different person from the person I was a year ago. I am very open minded, humble and one person who is very outspoken and a go getter. I’m good in balancing my social life and school work, so I think I won’t have any difficulties when I get to be exposed in the work sphere.

Pushing people away.
Posted on September 8, 2016
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We’re so used to pushing people away. We drive them away, only to protect ourselves – those walls of imperfection peep beneath the silhouette of a sturdy barrier. We don’t entertain them because we’re tired of getting hurt, we’re tired of letting people into our old, worn out and battered hearts. Worst of all, we keep them out because we don’t want them to get the best of us. We barely let anyone in because we know how bad it is to have a part of you taken away – and this scares us most.

We push people away, because we want a collateral for the damage they would cause – that being their ability to wait and be patient. We slowly test their interest towards us as time plays its own surprises. We slow them down, in the hopes of getting to know them better. We stop them, if we should, to tell them that we’re not easy, because truth be told, we’re scared and we’re naïve, yet we want to take chances. It’s like standing in between liking and rejecting — confused and unsettled, like a force field you gravitate towards to without any battle plan in mind. There’s this inner voice that urges you to take the fall, yet your brain doesn’t comprehend these signals. With mixed emotions on how not to, we resort to the easy way out and which is to drive them away. Are we going to insulate ourselves from getting close to others because we’re afraid of losing them? Or are we going to be vulnerable and go out into the world with an open mind and an open heart, ready to embrace others.

It’s okay to drive them away, to see how far they’re willing to stay, because people come and go. The most important people in your life stay put even at the midst of terror and confusion. They see you at your best and at your worst, but they never judge the way you do things. They will never question your decisions, nor pin you down with petty issues because they know you better. Its okay to veer away from them, because we need our own time to find ourselves lost in a familiar place. We will think and rethink our decisions, find our purpose and goals in life, because we have to know ourselves first, before we can share ourselves with others. The best people will allow us to get lost and find ourselves; they will assure us that we can always go back to the people we find “home” in. Most important of all, it’s okay to push them away, because people with the purest intentions will pull you back in, every time you choose to evict them out of your life. They will wait for the right time when you’re ready to share yourself with others, it doesn’t matter how long; and until that time when you’ve defeated your demons, they’ll welcome you with open arms – only then can you say that you’re willing to bring your walls down and let them in.

As humans, we’re capable of loving, caring and destroying, just as much as we’re given the liberty to be part of someone else’s life or not. We can’t just let everyone in, so choose wisely, because there’s a reason we always hold back and that is to protect ourselves and make sure the people who are with us right now are here to stay – for a long while.

Now, I’m just going to go ahead and say it so you have confirmation of the truth that’s already in your head: it’s a jackass move to push people out of your life, out of your life out of fear. Actually, it is jackass move to do just about anything out of the place of fear. If you want a life full of awesome relationships, put your heart on the line first. Be the example; let people know that they can trust you, because they are struggling with the same fears too. We all are. I actually can’t stand it when people say, particularly about romantic relationships, “I don’t need someone else to complete me”.

Screw that. I don’t know about you, but my life is definitely more complete because of the people who’ve entered it. So if we can agree that relationships really matter, the choice becomes obvious, let go of the fear and just love others as much as you can.

Written by Jolene Tshakane

OVER INFLATED EGO

One of the most destructive of creative sins is an over-inflated ego. When many people hear the word “ego,” they immediately think of the know-it-all manager charging into the room and insisting that everyone bend their life and work around his every whim. This is certainly one exhibition of ego, but there are less obvious types that we must be careful to avoid if we want to do our best creative work consistently. 

Whenever there is conflict or tension between individuals, be it in a professional environment or a social one, “inflated egos” are usually to blame for the conflict. Some individuals wanted too much attention for themselves, and they were willing to compromise social cohesion in order to make themselves stand out. Many meetings are a complete waste of time (and energy) because attendees aren’t concerned with the well-being of the company they work in, but simply wish to defend the ideas they came with and to undermine the contributions of others, so they can look better.

This – according to popular myth – is caused by “inflated egos.” In reality, the opposite is true. It’s not inflated egos that are to blame, but deflated ones.

Inflated egos are required for healthy living and fruitful social interaction. Problems only arise when egos are deflated, and the poor ego tries desperately to inflate itself through any means possible. To make sense of what I’m saying, it’s important to re-visit what “ego” means. Ego means self. It is how you define yourself as an individual, it is an answer to the question “who am I?”

Inflated ego on the other hand, it doesn’t need the praise of others to inflate it or keep it inflated. A healthy ego is driven by its own impression of itself. But since it does not seek to deceive itself, it is open to the criticism of others. Criticism isn’t seen as a threat, but as an opportunity to re-evaluate itself, based on the observations others have made, which the individual may have overlooked about himself. If the criticism is valid, it does not deflate the ego. It merely points out an area that requires more attention.

Inflated egos aren’t threatened by the accomplishments of others. They realize that others possess strengths they may not possess, but it does not undermine their own strengths and worth. An inflated ego is willing to learn from others, so it can grow its strengths through their strengths

Recently I came across my kindergarten graduation picture. What a hoot! Wide grins showed missing front teeth, girls sported bouffant hairdos, and a frazzled teacher stood in the corner looking strangely relieved. But, as usual, the first thought that crossed my mind as I stared at the photo was “I’m bigger than everyone else!” In the centre of the back row, I stood head and shoulders above all the boys. The rest of the girls lined the front row, looking dainty and small
.
I was always one of the fattest girls in my class. But I battled with my weight for years, feeling like a large Elephant standing in a pond among cute little ducks and beautiful swans. While others thought my height was an asset, I felt so different whenever I am around my friends.
My weight has not been my only battle with self confidence. I have also warred against my loud voice, my extreme clumsiness, and my tendency to be bossy. All of these are attributes that others promised me were either blessings in disguise or “stages” I would outgrow. I’m not sure that either has proven true, but the battles are over all the same.

The battle within most of us struggle to feel confident in who we are. Whether our points of vulnerability are physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual, we all have areas where we feel less than adequate. When we focus on these insecurities, our self confidence wanes and we fail to live up to our fullest potential. Out of embarrassment, we shrink back into the shadows, hoping no one notices. Or we compensate for our insecurities by overplaying our strengths, i.e. making everyone laugh because we feel unintelligent. This can be regarded as sad.
I started feeling more comfortable in my own skin, as soon as I got in the higher grades in my High School, simply because I was starting to grow up and losing few kilos.
I've always have been a very active person, even if I had the most biggest curves. I was participating in netball and I would take afternoon jogs with my younger brother. I would not do those because of I am probably trying to lose weight, no.
But simply to try to be in shape and perhaps be fit.

I've always aspired to get in a bikini suit but there has been a voice at the back of my mind not agreeing with what I aspire to. last year my cousins and I went to Durban South beach. that was the most memorable trip I ever had.  arriving at the beach, I felt so confident. for the very first time I was wearing a bikini suit, and I did not give a hoot of what everyone was thinking Actually, people were minding their business. The feeling was so AMAZING.
let me take this platforms and say to those who lack confident about their physique, you are gonna miss out a lot whilst you still in your shape. Don't try to change anything about you. you are you and you are enough. LOVE YOURSELF

Recently I came across my kindergarten graduation picture. What a hoot! Wide grins showed missing front teeth, girls sported bouffant hairdos, and a frazzled teacher stood in the corner looking strangely relieved. But, as usual, the first thought that crossed my mind as I stared at the photo was “I’m bigger than everyone else!” In the centre of the back row, I stood head and shoulders above all the boys. The rest of the girls lined the front row, looking dainty and small
.
I was always one of the fattest girls in my class. But I battled with my weight for years, feeling like a large Elephant standing in a pond among cute little ducks and beautiful swans. While others thought my height was an asset, I felt so different whenever I am around my friends.
My weight has not been my only battle with self confidence. I have also warred against my loud voice, my extreme clumsiness, and my tendency to be bossy. All of these are attributes that others promised me were either blessings in disguise or “stages” I would outgrow. I’m not sure that either has proven true, but the battles are over all the same.

The battle within most of us struggle to feel confident in who we are. Whether our points of vulnerability are physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual, we all have areas where we feel less than adequate. When we focus on these insecurities, our self confidence wanes and we fail to live up to our fullest potential. Out of embarrassment, we shrink back into the shadows, hoping no one notices. Or we compensate for our insecurities by overplaying our strengths, i.e. making everyone laugh because we feel unintelligent. This can be regarded as sad.
I started feeling more comfortable in my own skin, as soon as I got in the higher grades in my High School, simply because I was starting to grow up and losing few kilos.
I've always have been a very active person, even if I had the most biggest curves. I was participating in netball and I would take afternoon jogs with my younger brother. I would not do those because of I am probably trying to lose weight, no.
But simply to try to be in shape and perhaps be fit.

I've always aspired to get in a bikini suit but there has been a voice at the back of my mind not agreeing with what I aspire to. last year my cousins and I went to Durban South beach. that was the most memorable trip I ever had.  arriving at the beach, I felt so confident. for the very first time I was wearing a bikini suit, and I did not give a hoot of what everyone was thinking Actually, people were minding their business. The feeling was so AMAZING.
let me take this platforms and say to those who lack confident about their physique, you are gonna miss out a lot whilst you still in your shape. Don't try to change anything about you. you are you and you are enough. LOVE YOURSELF

CREATING INNER PEACE THAT ENDURES

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

Like many people, I lived my life for a lot of years failing to understand inner peace is a choice. I am not sure what I thought. Perhaps I didn’t believe anyone could feel a lasting peace inside. I did know that my own feelings of peace were always transitory.

There are many ups and downs in my life, too many claims on my time and too many difficult situations to be dealt with. I think I actually believe inner peace could only be achieved by monks and saints, or anyone living a reclusive life who didn’t have to deal with everyday struggles.

I am stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how peace could be mine when there was always something, some drama going on in my own life or the lives of those I loved.

In fact, it seem to me that the whole world was filled with stuff, negative stuff mostly, which I read about in the newspaper, saw on the television, or heard from someone I knew.

It is the kind of stuff that pulls at your emotions—the breaking news story of a missing woman being found murdered, the tragedy of a child being killed by a hit and run driver, the numbers of homeless people tripling, and a devastating Tsunami killing thousands and paralyzing a country.

Then there are  the stories closer to home—my friend’s dad being diagnosed with cancer and dying three months later, my other friend having a miscarriage—all tearing at my heart and leaving me hurt and grieving.

In my own personal life too, my emotions dip and peak along with how much control I feel I had over my own happiness. I literally feel like a puppet on a string, and asked myself over and over again, “How can I feel a constant inner peace in my heart and life when my emotions see-saw up and down according to what is happening in and around me?”

Looking back I know I believed that my emotions were important. After all, wasn’t being emotional an essential part of being alive? Emotions made me feel real and allowed me to extend empathy to everyone else.

But in the deepest part of myself, I do not feel good most of the time. I long to not be so emotional. I want to be released from all the conflict in my life—to not react to other people’s words and anger, to feel serenity in my heart.

It was an almost desperate need to alter or to stop the negative cycle of events which seemed to dominate my relationships and my life. I believe it is that intention which keeps on surfacing in my mind and in my heart that fueled my spiritual search and led me to discover a more peaceful way to live, despite the conflict in my life.

I know that as the months and years went on I become more determined to change the way I was living.

It was a few years ago now—I cannot pinpoint exactly when it happened—when I finally felt a peace inside that did not come and go along with my emotions or the drama in my life. I know it was the culmination of making a lot of changes.

love yours'

You know that saying, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone?” That saying needs to go away. Because we need to start appreciating the things we have in front of us, right now. Not when they go away and are long gone and suddenly we’re left with all of these regrets. We need to learn how to be happy with what we have while we have them.

So many relationships end, so many loved ones pass away, and so many people are left regretting their time spent with them. They regret not saying I love you enough, or treating them with as much care as they deserved. And I get that in the moment, it’s not always easy to appreciate what you have. You might be fighting with your significant other and spit horrible words at them. You might spend time with someone you love without really even noticing they’re there because their presence has grown so familiar. You aren’t always consciously aware that this might be the last opportunity you have with them. But we should damn well try to make an effort to appreciate the ones we love while we have them in front of us. There is no worse feeling than having regret with absolutely no way to make up for it.

In many cases you would find yourself comparing some of the things that one of your friend had bought, probably a nice house in the nice suburbs, or a convertible car, which in most cases he worked hard to be able to own them, you on the other hand, you have been  doing nothing at all. That's where the root of jealousy comes. I think it is very important that we learn to control our selves, and be able to acknowledge the hard work of other people, not forgetting to look after them when it comes to achieving what we want. leaning to accept the situation you are in currently, and having faith that it won't stay the same for eternally is what will help drive each day, that's if you are definitely doing something product each day that will help you towards your destination.

let me close in the words of  J Cole as he says, "Love yours, there is no such thing as the life that's better than yours"

Feeling confident in your own skin

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them. Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.
As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me. If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.
 but, i grow up not very confident girl. i was a bit chubby in weight. all my friends were a bit thin than i was. so, growing up in the streets of Lebanon, Mabopane, as a big child it wasn't eeasy. imagine bumping into one of your uncles wife, calling you by the name "sdudla" which mean fatty..
that's probably not the most warmest reception ever.  i struggled fitting in different groups..

Being confident in your own skin

 

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them. Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.
As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me. If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.
I had often heard the expression “what you are inside shows on your face.” However, I didn’t know what these words truly meant until one day at the age of thirty-five.

PURPOSE



Many people have different aspects about life, but I believe in fulfilling a purpose in life, to find my calling while gratifying God’s intentions for me. Whether it is spiritual, career, or dream related.
A couple years back I was hesitant of the direction of my life, I was just saved; something believed to be one of Gods many purposes in this world for us. I approached a question, what my purpose in this world was and how I was going to figure it out. Honestly, I still don’t know what my purposes are, but as I began growing closer to God the more I felt that I was growing spiritually. Along the way I’ve come to realize that the only spiritual intention is to become a better Christian, to not only to do good for myself but good for others.

On that road to seeking a future along with happiness,  I was in search of my calling. I always knew that I wanted to go to college and get a career to one day become successful. I searched for my passion in life.As we get older we gain responsibilities and make our dreams realities, to one day form the foundation of what will contour us into what we will become. As time passes by I want to grow wiser; I want a better relationship with God, and I want to know that whatever I do with my life will have a connection with His intentions for me. I want to fulfill my life’s purposes while spreading the world of the Lord, and to become selfless in every aspect. In order to find true happiness, we must first look for God and fulfill our purpose.
In the future, I will look back and think of all my accomplishments. I will perceive my life not as a lifeless body, but a body that experienced the full ride of life. I will have fulfilled my purpose in life.

when everything's seems all good but something inside does not feel right?
Academics testing your soul and being overwhelmed. when everyone's turning their back on you, when you are most vulnerable and need their support. mood shift, hostility, impulsivity, loneliness and probably the most chaotic social relationships. that's when you know yo need some Devine intervention in your life. we all need something that can keep us going, some sort of a motivation and inspiration so to be able to move forward.

I usually try to meditate when ever I feel the pressure on my shoulders and feeling like I am about to burst. I was having a conversation with one of my friends the other day, she was basically expressing how she feels inside, how she is literally exhausted about life, how everything else is not going her way. Her boyfriend of 4 years left her and all that. if you totally know me, you would know that, I'm totally not judgmental, I'm actually that one friend who would try to cheer you up as I was listening to her, I pose a question to her, asked if she ever prays, she node her head.

for me praying, is not just a conversation with God or telling the Lord all your problems and probably
saying your thank yous, praying for me is more than that, it involves being able to listen and interact with God. being able to be at calm, away from the stresses of this world in your own space, to be able to realise all the negativity that has been surrounding you for a while now, allowing the holy spirit, to fill in that empty void for a while now.

I may sound as if I am preaching now, but I always believe that everyone stick to some sort of super power in which it works out for them. either way, it is a free country, everyone's entailed to anything that pleases them. I think we may be different, but not quite, as Christians, if it works out for me, it can suite you as well. that's what I told my friend as we were chilling, I think taking a walk and interacting with people, especially those with similar problems it can help.
own your happiness.