CREATING INNER PEACE THAT ENDURES

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

Like many people, I lived my life for a lot of years failing to understand inner peace is a choice. I am not sure what I thought. Perhaps I didn’t believe anyone could feel a lasting peace inside. I did know that my own feelings of peace were always transitory.

There are many ups and downs in my life, too many claims on my time and too many difficult situations to be dealt with. I think I actually believe inner peace could only be achieved by monks and saints, or anyone living a reclusive life who didn’t have to deal with everyday struggles.

I am stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how peace could be mine when there was always something, some drama going on in my own life or the lives of those I loved.

In fact, it seem to me that the whole world was filled with stuff, negative stuff mostly, which I read about in the newspaper, saw on the television, or heard from someone I knew.

It is the kind of stuff that pulls at your emotions—the breaking news story of a missing woman being found murdered, the tragedy of a child being killed by a hit and run driver, the numbers of homeless people tripling, and a devastating Tsunami killing thousands and paralyzing a country.

Then there are  the stories closer to home—my friend’s dad being diagnosed with cancer and dying three months later, my other friend having a miscarriage—all tearing at my heart and leaving me hurt and grieving.

In my own personal life too, my emotions dip and peak along with how much control I feel I had over my own happiness. I literally feel like a puppet on a string, and asked myself over and over again, “How can I feel a constant inner peace in my heart and life when my emotions see-saw up and down according to what is happening in and around me?”

Looking back I know I believed that my emotions were important. After all, wasn’t being emotional an essential part of being alive? Emotions made me feel real and allowed me to extend empathy to everyone else.

But in the deepest part of myself, I do not feel good most of the time. I long to not be so emotional. I want to be released from all the conflict in my life—to not react to other people’s words and anger, to feel serenity in my heart.

It was an almost desperate need to alter or to stop the negative cycle of events which seemed to dominate my relationships and my life. I believe it is that intention which keeps on surfacing in my mind and in my heart that fueled my spiritual search and led me to discover a more peaceful way to live, despite the conflict in my life.

I know that as the months and years went on I become more determined to change the way I was living.

It was a few years ago now—I cannot pinpoint exactly when it happened—when I finally felt a peace inside that did not come and go along with my emotions or the drama in my life. I know it was the culmination of making a lot of changes.

love yours'

You know that saying, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone?” That saying needs to go away. Because we need to start appreciating the things we have in front of us, right now. Not when they go away and are long gone and suddenly we’re left with all of these regrets. We need to learn how to be happy with what we have while we have them.

So many relationships end, so many loved ones pass away, and so many people are left regretting their time spent with them. They regret not saying I love you enough, or treating them with as much care as they deserved. And I get that in the moment, it’s not always easy to appreciate what you have. You might be fighting with your significant other and spit horrible words at them. You might spend time with someone you love without really even noticing they’re there because their presence has grown so familiar. You aren’t always consciously aware that this might be the last opportunity you have with them. But we should damn well try to make an effort to appreciate the ones we love while we have them in front of us. There is no worse feeling than having regret with absolutely no way to make up for it.

In many cases you would find yourself comparing some of the things that one of your friend had bought, probably a nice house in the nice suburbs, or a convertible car, which in most cases he worked hard to be able to own them, you on the other hand, you have been  doing nothing at all. That's where the root of jealousy comes. I think it is very important that we learn to control our selves, and be able to acknowledge the hard work of other people, not forgetting to look after them when it comes to achieving what we want. leaning to accept the situation you are in currently, and having faith that it won't stay the same for eternally is what will help drive each day, that's if you are definitely doing something product each day that will help you towards your destination.

let me close in the words of  J Cole as he says, "Love yours, there is no such thing as the life that's better than yours"

Feeling confident in your own skin

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them. Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.
As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me. If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.
 but, i grow up not very confident girl. i was a bit chubby in weight. all my friends were a bit thin than i was. so, growing up in the streets of Lebanon, Mabopane, as a big child it wasn't eeasy. imagine bumping into one of your uncles wife, calling you by the name "sdudla" which mean fatty..
that's probably not the most warmest reception ever.  i struggled fitting in different groups..

Being confident in your own skin

 

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them. Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.
As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me. If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.
I had often heard the expression “what you are inside shows on your face.” However, I didn’t know what these words truly meant until one day at the age of thirty-five.

PURPOSE



Many people have different aspects about life, but I believe in fulfilling a purpose in life, to find my calling while gratifying God’s intentions for me. Whether it is spiritual, career, or dream related.
A couple years back I was hesitant of the direction of my life, I was just saved; something believed to be one of Gods many purposes in this world for us. I approached a question, what my purpose in this world was and how I was going to figure it out. Honestly, I still don’t know what my purposes are, but as I began growing closer to God the more I felt that I was growing spiritually. Along the way I’ve come to realize that the only spiritual intention is to become a better Christian, to not only to do good for myself but good for others.

On that road to seeking a future along with happiness,  I was in search of my calling. I always knew that I wanted to go to college and get a career to one day become successful. I searched for my passion in life.As we get older we gain responsibilities and make our dreams realities, to one day form the foundation of what will contour us into what we will become. As time passes by I want to grow wiser; I want a better relationship with God, and I want to know that whatever I do with my life will have a connection with His intentions for me. I want to fulfill my life’s purposes while spreading the world of the Lord, and to become selfless in every aspect. In order to find true happiness, we must first look for God and fulfill our purpose.
In the future, I will look back and think of all my accomplishments. I will perceive my life not as a lifeless body, but a body that experienced the full ride of life. I will have fulfilled my purpose in life.

when everything's seems all good but something inside does not feel right?
Academics testing your soul and being overwhelmed. when everyone's turning their back on you, when you are most vulnerable and need their support. mood shift, hostility, impulsivity, loneliness and probably the most chaotic social relationships. that's when you know yo need some Devine intervention in your life. we all need something that can keep us going, some sort of a motivation and inspiration so to be able to move forward.

I usually try to meditate when ever I feel the pressure on my shoulders and feeling like I am about to burst. I was having a conversation with one of my friends the other day, she was basically expressing how she feels inside, how she is literally exhausted about life, how everything else is not going her way. Her boyfriend of 4 years left her and all that. if you totally know me, you would know that, I'm totally not judgmental, I'm actually that one friend who would try to cheer you up as I was listening to her, I pose a question to her, asked if she ever prays, she node her head.

for me praying, is not just a conversation with God or telling the Lord all your problems and probably
saying your thank yous, praying for me is more than that, it involves being able to listen and interact with God. being able to be at calm, away from the stresses of this world in your own space, to be able to realise all the negativity that has been surrounding you for a while now, allowing the holy spirit, to fill in that empty void for a while now.

I may sound as if I am preaching now, but I always believe that everyone stick to some sort of super power in which it works out for them. either way, it is a free country, everyone's entailed to anything that pleases them. I think we may be different, but not quite, as Christians, if it works out for me, it can suite you as well. that's what I told my friend as we were chilling, I think taking a walk and interacting with people, especially those with similar problems it can help.
own your happiness.