Bloomingness!

Just like a flower, I have always known that there will always be a time where I shine. Like anyone else, I have always had my ups and downs as a student. There were some point where I almost gave up on my studies, because of the pressure that I was feeling. Many of the people who started at the same time we did, dropped out, changed majors, etc. they quit. I have always had that sixth sense that would always tell me to never quit, and I am grateful for it. I’m not a quitter. I’d rather fail a class three times and eventually pass it than quit and resign myself to the idea that I “just can’t get it.” If you see failure as an end, that makes you a quitter. You can’t succeed at anything if you quit. Don’t be a quitter, be a failure who is always willing to try it once again

Behind every success story is an embarrassing first effort, a stumble, a setback or a radical change of direction. It’s these first clumsy steps on the road to fame and fortune. 

When you see someone who’s very successful, you almost imagine that it was a foregone conclusion, that they’re a genius, that they were destined for great things.

Where I am right now, is not where I am destined to be, but I am definitely sure, it is a right path for me to where I should be. Like a flower, there are times when I bloom so hard, that I shine and be happy for what I am doing. There is so much to life for me. I just discovered that I am writer, well, a very good one in this regard. And I am definitely enjoying expressing my feelings through writing. I also enjoy being a presenter or rather a reporter in any broadcasting sphere. I am blooming Hun! I have finally released my potential and I see a lot great stuff ahead of me.

One of the things that made me feel this good about my career path, is probably moving outside my comfort zone. I’m a very different person from the person I was a year ago. I am very open minded, humble and one person who is very outspoken and a go getter. I’m good in balancing my social life and school work, so I think I won’t have any difficulties when I get to be exposed in the work sphere.

Pushing people away.
Posted on September 8, 2016
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We’re so used to pushing people away. We drive them away, only to protect ourselves – those walls of imperfection peep beneath the silhouette of a sturdy barrier. We don’t entertain them because we’re tired of getting hurt, we’re tired of letting people into our old, worn out and battered hearts. Worst of all, we keep them out because we don’t want them to get the best of us. We barely let anyone in because we know how bad it is to have a part of you taken away – and this scares us most.

We push people away, because we want a collateral for the damage they would cause – that being their ability to wait and be patient. We slowly test their interest towards us as time plays its own surprises. We slow them down, in the hopes of getting to know them better. We stop them, if we should, to tell them that we’re not easy, because truth be told, we’re scared and we’re naïve, yet we want to take chances. It’s like standing in between liking and rejecting — confused and unsettled, like a force field you gravitate towards to without any battle plan in mind. There’s this inner voice that urges you to take the fall, yet your brain doesn’t comprehend these signals. With mixed emotions on how not to, we resort to the easy way out and which is to drive them away. Are we going to insulate ourselves from getting close to others because we’re afraid of losing them? Or are we going to be vulnerable and go out into the world with an open mind and an open heart, ready to embrace others.

It’s okay to drive them away, to see how far they’re willing to stay, because people come and go. The most important people in your life stay put even at the midst of terror and confusion. They see you at your best and at your worst, but they never judge the way you do things. They will never question your decisions, nor pin you down with petty issues because they know you better. Its okay to veer away from them, because we need our own time to find ourselves lost in a familiar place. We will think and rethink our decisions, find our purpose and goals in life, because we have to know ourselves first, before we can share ourselves with others. The best people will allow us to get lost and find ourselves; they will assure us that we can always go back to the people we find “home” in. Most important of all, it’s okay to push them away, because people with the purest intentions will pull you back in, every time you choose to evict them out of your life. They will wait for the right time when you’re ready to share yourself with others, it doesn’t matter how long; and until that time when you’ve defeated your demons, they’ll welcome you with open arms – only then can you say that you’re willing to bring your walls down and let them in.

As humans, we’re capable of loving, caring and destroying, just as much as we’re given the liberty to be part of someone else’s life or not. We can’t just let everyone in, so choose wisely, because there’s a reason we always hold back and that is to protect ourselves and make sure the people who are with us right now are here to stay – for a long while.

Now, I’m just going to go ahead and say it so you have confirmation of the truth that’s already in your head: it’s a jackass move to push people out of your life, out of your life out of fear. Actually, it is jackass move to do just about anything out of the place of fear. If you want a life full of awesome relationships, put your heart on the line first. Be the example; let people know that they can trust you, because they are struggling with the same fears too. We all are. I actually can’t stand it when people say, particularly about romantic relationships, “I don’t need someone else to complete me”.

Screw that. I don’t know about you, but my life is definitely more complete because of the people who’ve entered it. So if we can agree that relationships really matter, the choice becomes obvious, let go of the fear and just love others as much as you can.

Written by Jolene Tshakane

OVER INFLATED EGO

One of the most destructive of creative sins is an over-inflated ego. When many people hear the word “ego,” they immediately think of the know-it-all manager charging into the room and insisting that everyone bend their life and work around his every whim. This is certainly one exhibition of ego, but there are less obvious types that we must be careful to avoid if we want to do our best creative work consistently. 

Whenever there is conflict or tension between individuals, be it in a professional environment or a social one, “inflated egos” are usually to blame for the conflict. Some individuals wanted too much attention for themselves, and they were willing to compromise social cohesion in order to make themselves stand out. Many meetings are a complete waste of time (and energy) because attendees aren’t concerned with the well-being of the company they work in, but simply wish to defend the ideas they came with and to undermine the contributions of others, so they can look better.

This – according to popular myth – is caused by “inflated egos.” In reality, the opposite is true. It’s not inflated egos that are to blame, but deflated ones.

Inflated egos are required for healthy living and fruitful social interaction. Problems only arise when egos are deflated, and the poor ego tries desperately to inflate itself through any means possible. To make sense of what I’m saying, it’s important to re-visit what “ego” means. Ego means self. It is how you define yourself as an individual, it is an answer to the question “who am I?”

Inflated ego on the other hand, it doesn’t need the praise of others to inflate it or keep it inflated. A healthy ego is driven by its own impression of itself. But since it does not seek to deceive itself, it is open to the criticism of others. Criticism isn’t seen as a threat, but as an opportunity to re-evaluate itself, based on the observations others have made, which the individual may have overlooked about himself. If the criticism is valid, it does not deflate the ego. It merely points out an area that requires more attention.

Inflated egos aren’t threatened by the accomplishments of others. They realize that others possess strengths they may not possess, but it does not undermine their own strengths and worth. An inflated ego is willing to learn from others, so it can grow its strengths through their strengths